Monkey Abroad

A blog about living in China and eating Chinese food. Videos, stories, photos, advice, and teaching ESL.

Landscape

The 5 Typical ESL Teachers (Funny)

| 6 Comments

Teaching overseas takes guts, adventurousness, but most of all, weirdness. Let’s face it, the type of people who pursue the lifestyle of an ESL teacher are a different breed, myself included. After meeting and getting to know many teachers in Thailand and China, I’d classify most nomadic educators into at least one of these five ESL teacher archetypes.

Recent Grads

The recent college graduate ESL teacher chooses Asia after staring down the barrel of their home country’s abysmal job market. They’re out to prove their adaptability by adding international experience to their resumé, while partying like they’re still in college, because binge drinking a foreign country’s beer is an integral part of intercultural immersion.

Weirdos

Socially awkward in their home country, weirdos come to Asia hoping a change of scenery was all they needed in order to flourish. They’re prone to invite you over to watch anime with them in their cramped apartment. The weirdo ESL teacher is prolific in China, a country that unfortunately doesn’t discriminate its teacher-applicants based on strangeness, thus creating a sort of oddball English-speaker safe haven.

Typical ESL teacher

Midlife Adventurers

They always wanted to travel and work abroad, but were trapped with real world commitments. The midlife adventurer decided to go abroad and teach ESL at around age 40 with the understanding that it’s more than just a subtle sign of a midlife crisis, but they made the jump anyway because they’re tired of caring what others think. They’re often spotted regaling others with tales of embellished successes.

Escapists

The escapist is running away from something, be it an ambiguous sexuality or a crippling fear of turtles. They seek refuge in Asia from the crap that infests their personal life and often have a poor opinion about their home country. If you ask why they came to Asia, they’ll tell you they’re “interested in studying Buddhism.” Asking the escapist too many questions is a no-no, as they tend to get defensive.

Typical ESL teacher

Hippies

Hippies are carefree teachers enjoying a quiet existence far from the hassles of the man. They waved goodbye to family and friends vowing never to smoke grass again, only to puff the first joint that was passed their way. Toking up after class is a common ritual for these types, and some diehard hippies routinely smoke before teaching as a means to “empathize with young learners.”

In Defense of the ESL Teacher

Some unique and interesting folks dwell within in the sphere of ESL teaching. One quality that seems universal among the ESL teachers I’ve met is creativity. I swear, if an English teacher can’t play the guitar, they’re either a writer, poet, artist, or philosopher. People who are willing to plan, invest in, and commit to this lifestyle are apparently a right-brained bunch. I’ve made many good friends in this field, and I look forward to befriending many more oddballs in the future.

Typical ESL Teacher

Author: Kevin Cook

I post stories, videos, advice and photos about living abroad in Asia. I also eat bananas.

6 Comments

  1. I would say ur a combo….

  2. So which one are you? I’m pretty sure if I was to teach ESL abroad I would fit into the weirdo category.

  3. Aren’t most people anywhere a combination of these? You can move within your home country, even just a few hundred miles down the road, and be a weirdo escaping, or being taking the action as part of a mid life crisis. The common element being, the person wasn’t leaving anything of particular value in their rear view mirror.

  4. Since you like funny things, and needling others, I’m sure you won’t mind the tables being turned.

    6) YOUNG AIMLESS MIDDLE CLASS MALES

    These 20-somethings come from nice middle class families in the First World, which afforded them every advantage. But because they didn’t plan well and are generally unambitious, they ended up with a bachelor’s degree in nothing and very limited job prospects in their home country. In the interests of making themselves seem more than ordinary, they booked a flight to Asia (often paid for by Mom and Dad), and ended up teaching ESL. They are known to spend much time posting observational content to the web, which has a recurring tone of being dismissive about both the country they are in and the people around them. It is best to not ask them about their post-Asia plans, as it may make them agitated.

Leave a comment:

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers: