QINGDAO, Jan. 27th—I checked into a hotel to rest my tired bones. My irritability and grogginess reached their peaks following a full day of travel and my lost checked suitcase when I actually agreed to pay ¥230 ($37) for a bed in this underwhelming hotel near the airport.
I was in a sour mood searching for a remote control to blast some heat into my cold fluorescent hotel room. That’s when I stumbled upon this gem in the desk drawer. An almost entirely full tube of Chinese vagina lubricant cream.
Due to exhaustion (immaturity), laughter was my first reaction. Thoughts and images of my room’s prior inhabitants in all of their greasy glory reluctantly oozed into my brain, but at least I got a short laugh before passing out in a room that I know, beyond a doubt, has been visited by a vaginal lube fairy.
Today is New Year’s Eve in China and somewhere in this foggy air tonight is the din of fireworks. I can’t see them very clearly, but I can certainly hear them. Happy New Year!
From China with Lube,