Monkey Abroad

A blog about living in China and eating Chinese food. Videos, stories, photos, advice, and teaching ESL.

Thai nickname

24 Awesome Thai Nicknames

| 67 Comments

All Thai people have nicknames. Their full names are really long, so this is a way to cut it down a bit. Nicknames are typically bestowed upon a child based on the interests, hobbies and occupations of their parents. Some nicknames are downright awesome. Using a roster of the 650+ students I teach, I made a list of my top 25 favorites.


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Thai nickname

1. Fork

Fork’s parents must enjoy eating. I wonder if they have another child named Spoon…

2. Clean

I bet that Clean ironically has a very dirty room at home.

Thai nickname

3. Frong teeth

Maybe Frong teeth’s parents meant ‘Front teeth,’ or ‘Frog teeth’? Do frogs even have teeth? Either way, this name made the list because it doesn’t make any sense to me. And I get a kick out of saying it out loud.

Thai nickname

4. Golf

Ah, golf; the most boring sport to watch. Golf’s dad is probably a great player.

Thai nickname

5. Apple

It’s much more socially acceptable when a Thai person names their child Apple than when an Gwyneth Paltrow does it.

6. Meow

I asked Meow if she likes cats. She said no.

Thai nickname

7. Oil Easy

Oil Easy’s name is unique. It’s a combination of two common Thai nicknames: Oil and Easy. His parents probably couldn’t decide which name to choose for him, so they thought, “why not both?”

8. Fufu

I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around Fufu because she has a royal aura about her. With such a fancy name, Fufu demands attention. She’s by far one of my most outspoken students.

9. The Ice

I have tons of students named Ice, but The Ice makes the list because he’s THE Ice. Everyone else is just an Ice.

Thai nickname

10. Smilely

Okay, so this student’s name is obviously ‘Smiley’ and she misspelled it. But still, what an awesome name. Especially with the signature smiley face.

Thai nickname

11. Pee

Studious Pee sits somewhere in the middle of the class; not outspoken but not too quiet. An average student, but with a name like Pee, he had to make my list. His parents must be interesting people. Also, he sits next to Pooh, which is an awesome coincidence.

Thai nickname

12. Mew

Mew made the list because he’s one of my favorite students, plus his name is the same as the most powerful Pokémon. Also, ‘mew’ is the sound a kitten makes.

13. Fifa

Fifa’s parents must be huge football fans.

Thai nickname

14. Dream

What a great name. I’d name my own flesh and blood Dream. I bet his parents are very ambitious people.

Thai nickname

15. Brings boy

I can’t imagine the motivation behind naming a child Brings boy. Maybe he’s a twin, and he was the first to exit the womb, but he was holding on tightly to his twin brother during delivery. Or maybe one of his parents is Native American, so they dubbed him with a verbal name like ‘Runs With Dear.’

Thai nickname

16. Guitar

A truly awesome name. I’ve got a couple of students named Guitar. Their dads could probably shred pretty hard.

Thai nickname

17. Fresh

With a name like that, who wouldn’t want to be your friend? I bet Fresh always has the best ideas and the freshest breath.

Thai nickname

18. Nig

This name made the list because it defies all political correctness. The best part is, Nig is just a quiet little girl who sits in the back of class. I love when she speaks up, because I get to say, “good job, Nig!” and the class has no idea I’m shouting a racial slur.

Thai nickname

19. Pot

Pot’s parents either enjoy cooking food or they enjoy smoking dope. Either way, Pot makes my list because I assume the latter.

Thai nickname

20. Wine

A name like this begs the question, which varietal do Wine’s parents prefer: Riesling, Cabernet, or Chardonnay?

Thai nickname

21. Champagne

Champange’s parents left nothing to guess with their daughter’s name. They’re champagne drinkers and they’re proud.

22. Poo

Poo tops the list of kids who have the cruelest parents. Who would name their child Poo and expect them to have a semblance of a regular social life in high school?

Thai nickname

23. Name

This one’s a classic. It speaks for itself, like a person who uses the word ‘password’ as their online password. In my opinion, Name is the best name on this entire list.

24. Clutch

I bet Clutch will grow up to sink so many game-winning beer pong shots. His friends won’t have to don him with the nickname ‘Clutch’ because he’ll already have it! But seriously, I bet his dad is a car repairman or something.

Author: Kevin Cook

I post stories, videos, advice and photos about living abroad in Asia. I also eat bananas.

67 Comments

  1. Studious Pee and “good job Nig!” cracked me up, this blog was fantastic

  2. Hahaha I totally agree. My student named himself Brush too :P

  3. I’m so envious that you get to say and write any and everything that is not “PC” in the good ole USA. Too afraid to respond to what I’d like to say about some of those hilarious names. Another entertaining read!

  4. ‘Poo’ – (I learned that Thai PM has very same nickname). English only consists of “P” and “B” sound, hence no option to make a correct pronouncing for English speaker. Also, not to mention the Thai first name that ends with ‘-porn’ – When they pronounce it, it is more like “pond” with the silence “D” – Language is always interesting.

    • Sandy, you’re totally right about the phonetics of Thai names, but I still get a kick out of reading them aloud. I have a friend named Supaporn (it sounds like Super Porn!) and her name makes me laugh every time. But that’s just me being childish.

  5. I asked Meow if she likes cats. She said no… ROFL

  6. Thai nicknames are awesome, my favorite is “Beer”.

  7. You missed “Porn”
    “Porn” in thai means “Blessing” and therefore many couples name their daugther this meaningful name. XD

  8. So unexpected. The word POO means “crab” that still rhyme with crap.
    Anyway his parent not such that cruel.

  9. “Nut” also. One of the most frequently used nicknames.

  10. The best one that I heard is a friend of my friend’s full name,
    which is “Sataporn Pornlikhit” (which sounds very common in Thai) and of course it sounds like Star-Porn Porn-Lick-it,
    I heard his teacher love to call out his full name so much no wonder why.. :)

  11. FYI
    name of thailand prime minister is POO

  12. Hi, I quite love your story shared by my friend.

    Many Thai words seem awkward when you spell it in English. Like you class lists, Almost of ‘Pee’ come from just an alphabet ‘P’ in English or an original Thai word mean fat or chubby. normally use to be a suffix of ‘Auan’ (อ้วน) like ‘Auan-Pee’ (อ้วนพี) Something like that.

    For ‘Poo’, A Number of people laugh at this word. But it means ‘Crab’ (n.) or spreading out something on the floor (v.)

    And some of my friend noticed that there are some name which surely misunderstood. Like ‘Frong teeth’ (I don’t know what its mean, may be Fong-Fun or ฟองฟัน, Fun = Tooth) , The Ice, Oil easy, etc.

    Thai nicknames go more and more weird in recent years. Yes, I’m Thai :)

  13. “Pee”, “Poo”, and “Porn” are my favorite.

  14. I know one girl, her first name is วชิรพร (Wa-Chi-Rar-Porn).
    Everytime foreigner asks for her name, they always surprise because it sound like “watching a porn”. LOL

    I also had experience with person nickname Poo.
    When I tried to explain to foreiger that Poo is mean crab. They though I mean crap. oh god… T_T

    p.s. I found your blog from Facebook :)

    • I was shocked when I was introduced to the first 3 thai female office mates on my first day, when I joined this startup website a few years back. I was really scared and questioned what I got myself into. I just calmed when I realized it was names, and not level of difficulty.

      The names are: utomporn, wattaporn, and supaporn.

  15. Cook in Thai means prison.

    So you are a jailer.

  16. You don’t want to know.
    Devid Moyes meaning in Thai.
    That make Manchester United fan in Thai so upset.
    ^_^

  17. I just know today that “Easy” , “”Bring Boy” and “Fufu” is a nickname too…
    Parents these day are weirdo…

  18. The meaning of Pee in Thai is “Ghost”

  19. My friend is also Name! :)

  20. To be frank I, as a Thai, also feel entertained reading the nickname mentioned in your article. Few months ago I pick up some local kindergarten yearbook and I’ve seen some entertaining names like..

    - Phad Thai
    - Lasagna
    - Starbuck (without ‘s’)
    - Mister
    - Meatball
    - Usher

  21. Meanwhile , Thai people laugh at some English name like ‘Dawson’ (=short penis).

  22. you will soon find some new names to be in the list like ‘Nut’ or ‘Ball’.

    by the way, I lost my crap at “good job, Nig.”

  23. How sad that for such lovely people you are publicly humiliating them. I also taught in this country for three years and came across a few things like this. Thank goodness I was brought up not to laugh at someone else’s expense. It was a Thai who brought this to my attention. I would far rather have protected them than laugh. You don’t understand this situation at all and I feel sorry for you.

    • Thanks for your input, Emma. I’m assuming you’re a Brit based on your last comment.

      Thai people are lovely indeed. I have many Thai friends and they know how to laugh at a joke. Sadly, many people lack the ability to joke about, well, anything. I feel sorry for those types.

      A majority of Thai people will disagree with your belittling comment. I know this because I’ve received about 100 emails in the last 48 hours about this article alone from Thai people who’re so glad that I’m writing funny stories about their culture from a foreigner’s perspective. Not everyone is as uptight as you.

      Get off your pro-Thai culture high horse and quit with the racial justice vigilance. You aren’t even Thai.

      Oh, and I’m American.

      Lighten up,

      Kevin

  24. My Grandfather was called Nigel. Guess what his nickname was.

  25. Please tell me you are not British, Kevin.

  26. I’m Thai. One thing I have to mention, Thai nicknames are NOT ONLY based on the interests, hobbies and occupations of their parents. But can be ANYTHING. Yes, anything, even numbers(1,2,3,etc), alphabet, fruit name, animal name, plant name, any object name, god name or even a consonant with no meaning.

    And I have heard anyone name “Frong Teeth” before. If it’s true, it will be very weird name for Thai.

    ps. Poo means “crab” or “mountain” in Thai base on pronunciation that can write it in English. In case of PM name, it’s crab.

    Dawson? LOL yes

    • Light,

      Thanks for sharing. I had only perviously heard that nicknames were given to kids based on the parent’s interests. I had no idea that they are also sometimes random words without any significant meaning.

  27. Wow. Someone maybe should’ve taken an anthropology class. I feel bad for your students, and hope they never see this– but that’s too late for some other people, who have already been hurt by your massive lack of empathy and dearth of cultural sensitivity. I noticed you also managed to make fun of Native Americans. Wow– edgy. You’re disrespecting a culture you’re visiting and clearly don’t understand, being extremely unprofessional, mocking a marginalized group, and making fun of children. All at once! WOW.

    • Thanks for your input, Emily.

      Read some of the other comments here. A majority of the comments are from Thai natives. A majority of Thai people who’ve come across this site love my blog, and this article in particular.

      It’s not my lack of cultural sensitivity. It’s your lack of a sense of humor. My co-teacher had a student named Pooping. If you can’t find the humor in that, you’re made of stone.

      I have a few other articles on my site that you can complain about. Check out ‘Russians in Phuket’ and ‘Banana Penis Theory.’ I’d love to read your insightful comments on those articles as well.

      Lighten up,

      Kevin

  28. Clearly you haven’t met my friend Rolls royce (“just roy”) and her brothers Lotus and Porche. Obviously their parents are very rich.

  29. this is not even a true strory. Rofl on caption

  30. Haha, this is great! I have a Thai friend named Friend. It’s a pretty great name as well.

  31. Manners maketh man.

  32. My nickname is Arm. Nuff said. LOL :P

  33. The irony is that your last name is Cook. LOL

  34. also might have been prisoner……

  35. Wait until you hear the name Fug. (Fug is a kind of squash.)

  36. My nickname is Guitar.

    And I find this unoffended+hilarious. Made my day. :v

  37. u know? there re a lot of girls name “porn” … don’t ask what their parent were thinkin about when they named their daughter :D

  38. Hi! I am thailand people !

  39. Gosh. This is hilarious. hahahahaaaa I found your blog from my friend’s facebook. And yes, I’m Thai. LOL I often find it’s really funny how our Thai-style nicknames mean for the foreigners as well, especially Pee, Poo, and Porn. Poor them. Hahahahahaaa

    Ahh.. well, and my nickname is “Icing”. Yep, icing sugar on the cake. I know it sounds weird for you guys but I love it anyway. I think it’s kinda unique! LOL

  40. Luckily, mine didn’t make it on the list but it also awkward as well LOL.

  41. I laughed so much over this article. I agree that some Thai nicknames are just so weird. I guess, as a Thai, that many nicknames are given because of their pronunciation regardless of the meanings. My nickname is Earn. Why? It’s because my brother’s nickname is Earth! Many nicknames of Thais in their 40 don’t actually have any meaning (e.g. Ao, Ee, Ae, Tim, Toi,etc.) But nowadays, yes, parents like giving children western style names. Here are some names: Bamboo, Butterfly, Bee, Bird, Aom Am, Gun, Key, Sunday, Tent, Bomb, Safe, Gearbun, Jelly, Focus, Boss, Oat, Film, Cartoon, Best, Feel, Beam, Sun, Pink, Fern, Cardphone and Pear. I guess many people think Thai style nicknames sound old fashion now parents go for ‘unique’ nicknames.

  42. This always makes me smile. I really must buy this book for my bookshelf one day.
    http://www.cookingwithpoo.com/

  43. Oh my gosh this is hilarious. I’m Thai, my nickname though is an American name (Kenny) but my mothers nickname is Apple like in the list.

  44. the only thing that’s offensive about this post is your misuse of the phrase “beg the question.” THAT’S NOT WHAT IT MEANS.

    oh that and the nig thing. saying “I love being able to use a racial slur!” makes you a little bit of a douche, sorry.

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